Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Here we go again.

It's been over a year since, in the glorious aftermath of finalization our long-awaited adoption, I set up this blog with the intent to document all those feelings and thoughts through writings and artwork.  But, I suppose motherhood took over, and between working and raising our sweet little boy, this just fell by the wayside.  However, I am recommitted, spurred on partly by receiving a phone call today from our local county adoptions social worker that we are officially back on the list to adopt a second child.  It only took a year from the time we began our paperwork--patience is a virtue, right??  Or so I hear.  Our little D is not so little any more.  He is fast approaching his third birthday in a few months, and I can't believe how fast the time has gone.  I so want to him to have a sibling, and wish he could be experiencing that right now.  But, God has other plans for us, and so we wait.  Like so many days before, we wait.  One of the cool things about adoption, that can also be the most frustrating, is not knowing.  You don't know when that call will come in.  It could be this afternoon, or a year from now.  And though that can be difficult at times, when it comes in, it's very exciting.  There is a whirlwind of emotions and a flurry of activity to get ready for a child that may be in your home within just a couple of days of even knowing they existed.  They say to consider yourself pregnant when your home study is complete, because you could get the call at any time.  But the thing about being pregnant, is you have a pretty good timeline of when that child is coming.  Yes, he or she might come early or late, but it's usually a difference of weeks, and you know you are getting a newborn.  With us, this child could be a newborn, or two or five.  It could be a boy or a girl.  It could be a sibling group of two with multiple possibilities of combinations of ages and sex and race.  How do you prepare for that?  How do you buy clothes or bedding or toys or anything ahead of time when so much is unknown.  And though it's a little crazy to think about that, personally, that is just one of the coolest, most exciting things about adoption.  In many ways, I love the unpredictable, unknown nature of it all.  And so, the waiting begins.  Or continues, really.  But in a more exciting way, knowing that the call could actually come in now that everything is complete.  As Shakespeare wrote in Richard II (albeit about a completely unrelated story!) "Heaven hath a hand in these events."  I truly believe that is the case, and it is that knowledge that allows me to let go, live my life with my precious son that I didn't know I would ever get the chance to raise, and wait for the child that God has chosen for us.  His or her road to our family might be a little less direct, but it is mapped out nonetheless.

3 comments:

  1. I'm so looking forward to reading your thoughts during this process. We're also waiting, and it can sometimes be difficult when others ask if we've heard anything yet... nope, nothing since the last time you asked a few weeks ago. Nobody has picked us. We're losers. Irrational, I know. And I keep a smile on my face because they are genuinely interested and caring- I don't want to be the person that nobody feels comfortable talking to. Anyway, I'll be following your blog! It's great to have someone to relate to.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks! It is hard, and it's such a LONG process! Sometimes I feel like saying "If I had heard something, I would have a child and you would know!". Ha! We are just on the waiting list through the county, so we don't have the added pressure of being chosen. We did with Isaac, though, and everyone kept saying "Oh you guys are so cool, they'll choose you right away!"....uh hu....not so much. And I know what you mean about not wanting people to be uncomfortable talking to you. Before we had Dylan, I was the one who didn't get invited to too many baby showers, because surely it was too painful for me (or at least that's my perception of why...). And frankly, sometimes it was, but I like to be the one to make the decision to go or not to go. Am looking forward to hearing more from you and praying for a second one for you soon, too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was married at 32 and immediately tried to get pregnant. When I was unable to conceive I had blood tests for fertility and was told that I had an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) of 54 and would not be able to have children. Even though the doctors knew that I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis since age 25, no one bothered to check my thyroid levels. my TSH was measured at .001. My Synthroid dosage was lowered. a friend advise me to contact a spiritualist who help with fertility with his medicine, i collected his contact and explain my situation to him he prepared a herbal medicine which i took as describe I by him. i became pregnant very quickly, I had a successful pregnancy. I have my baby august 2014. to get pregnant at age 35 with my 2nd child in september 2016, thank you papa, email contact if you require his help mallamabuduspiritualhome@gmail.com Or whatsapp him on +2349055637784

    ReplyDelete